Volcanoes erupt and spew ash, causing flight delays worldwide. Tectonic plates shift and earthquakes ravage nations to the death and injury of many. Tornadoes swirl through communities and destroy lives.
Many things we encounter are completely out of anyone's hands and are definitely not preventable. We find sadness and compassion in these times easily because, well, no one has a hurricane button or a flood switch.
It is in the everyday things that we find ourselves quickly into anger or frustration over. Traffic. Lines at the post office or shopping center. Taxes. Too much mayonnaise on your sandwich.
What makes these everyday, mundane things so frustrating? It is because we believe that they are avoidable and that we only encounter them because of someone else's incompetence. It is because we believe that we can blame someone for these everyday things so we become angry that it wasn't avoided.
So we feel sadness for the victims of the latest flood but get pissed when our server forgets the extra pickle that I ordered. Seems a bit silly, yes? I have found great peace relating to this subject by putting a simple idea into practice:
"I cannot control anything but my own thoughts."
You may be thinking, "how does this help me not get angry during my drive home at rush hour?" It helps because you can now realize that you can't control it. And blaming someone, even if there were someone to blame, won't change a thing about it. You cannot control the lines at the store or the mistake someone makes. You cannot control the tides of the sea or the wind patterns on the plains. You cannot control it and neither can anyone else.
Now that we have established that you can't control it, let's deal with the blame game. So what if you could blame someone and make them responsible. What does that accomplish? Does blaming and getting pissed at the driver who caused a fender bender that resulted in 30 minutes of extra traffic make the traffic go away? Or does it just get you pissed? Does blaming and getting frustrated at the new cashier for taking their time and causing a line that delays your day make the line go away? Or does it just get you frustrated? I think you can see where we are going with this.
The blaming doesn't do anything. It doesn't even make you feel better. It makes you feel worse. Because now, instead of being in control of something (like your thoughts), you have made someone else responsible for that which angers or frustrates or saddens you and now they are the only one who can change it for you. But we all know that it won't change.
So we know that we aren't in control of the irritation and blaming doesn't work... so how do we get out of the funk? Simply tune into your thoughts and find something, ANYTHING, that gets you to feeling a bit better. Justify the situation, find the silver lining, occupy your mind... and take a breath! In traffic, I always think, "what a great time to listen to more music or decompress from work!" In line at the store, I always start planning my meals for the night or what fun things I will do with my family on the weekend. While waiting for the server to get my extra pickle, I talk with my friends about the latest movie I have seen. And I take a breath!
Simple as it may seem, you will be able to train yourself into a better feeling place the next time you encounter something that normally would have angered or frustrated you. In not that long at all, with just a bit of practice, you may not even find those situations pop up anymore! How cool would that be!
In the end, it all boils down to the fact that no matter what it is, whatever your drama or dilemma, whoever you can or can't blame, wherever it is happening, the world keeps on spinning and you have the choice to keep moving with it or play stick in the mud with a pouty face. Either way, its your choice.
i came across a post on a facebook friend's wall that read:
Here is a question that not many of you will be brave enough to answer, especially the men. IF A MAN RAPES A WOMAN IS HE EVIL? I would really love your thoughts on this . xox
there were a great many responses that i expected: hate, anger, condemnation, exclusion, revenge, punishment. i did not feel that i could move past this topic without sharing my response. i felt that my way of viewing this was one that many people could benefit from. beyond that small circle of friends on her page, i also wanted to share this with my readers and friends.
and my response was:
there is no source of evil... only a source of love.
as such, no, a man who commits ANY ACT that society does not agree with, be it rape, or murder, theft, or otherwise, he is not "evil."
he, like you, is just doing the best he can with what he knows. he is at a different place than you, of course, so you may not understand his decisions, but for a person to be in such a place indicates that he is at a LOW LOW place of powerLESSness and that he does such things in an effort to move up, to move towards a place where he has more power, more control. he may not make decisions that you would or that you agree with or that you even understand, but from his uniquely individual place, he is making decisions in an effort to feel better.
we cannot spout the statement "We are One" and "We are Connected" or play games like forgiveness and acceptance and then believe in the concept of "evil" and cast out those who make decisions that we do not agree with. remember, things are not in "right" or "wrong"... there is "your way" and there is "my way" and about 6 billion "other ways!" however, we have come collectively into societies and agreed upon a few things and we choose to enforce those agreements, but none of it makes us more "right" or makes them more "wrong."
does all of me saying this absolve said man from his acts? well, no. we live in sectors of society and to maintain order and structure, those agreements that we have made must be enforced. his punishment will be removal from society for a good chunk of his life (prison) and then be an outcast for the remainder of his life as long as people know his acts.
but will i condemn him? hell no. because for where he is in relationship to me is like where i am in relationship to the Angels and God. for me to condemn him for his decisions that are not aligned with my vibration would be like God condemning me for decisions that are not aligned with that Higher vibration. it would be like the Source of the Universe saying to me "no, you weren't *bad* in the eyes of your society, but you *did* make decisions i *never* would have, and thus i deem you EVIL!" that is not a scenario that i am prepared to believe in.
i believe in the ever present, ever flowing towards me, super amazing and constant Stream of Love into my life. you may call the Force by a different name: God, or Latinate Deus, Greek Θεός, Slavic Bog, Sanskrit Ishvara or Deva, or Arabic Allah... all the same, infinite source of Love and Acceptance and Forgiveness. but for me, i will be more like that Stream of Love and emanate that outwardly towards every person, every soul, regardless of their previous acts. i will join my society in enforcing out agreement to lock him up, but i will stand alone if i have to in forgiving him and loving him.
i hope that you may see why i would feel this way. ♥ love to all of you, regardless of your opinions. in fact, love to all of you BECAUSE of your opinions. ♥
