Not What Happens, But How Do I React?

How you think about things matters. A death can be a source of grief or it can be a reminder to the life you have left. Morning traffic can be a nuisance or it can be a mini-pre-work sanctuary. A monthly bill can be a burden or an inspiration for knowing that you are fulfilling you obligations. The event is without judgment; it is you who defines how it plays.

Wait, how can I be judgmental? This stuff that happens to me is bad stuff!

I understand that you have been in a comfortable pattern of this kind of thought. If it were not comfortable, you would have changed it. If it were not a pattern, you would not feel helpless to the instantaneous feeling that arises at the mention. So I understand that this pattern, this habit, this belief is hard to shake… at first.

It is difficult to shake because we are designed to develop habits to let our minds focus on other, more critical thinking. When I say critical, I mean not so common. When the bill comes every month, it is regular, it is expected, it is common, and so a habit or pattern is established as a primary, instant reaction to help our conscious mind sort the priorities. Uncommon events take an advanced priority to think through while common ones are left to our past decisions about them in the form of habits.

Just because they are common, however, is not to say that they are no longer as important. Quite the opposite, in fact. It is because these events happen so frequently that you will greatly benefit from a shift in your mental process!

So, why is it so hard to shake these habits? Well, that is the design! Habits and patterns are formed to stand the test of time and create an easy task management plan for the brain. Habits make our life easy!! As such, establishing new and different habits will take some time to get in, form roots and strap in for the long haul.

There are several hundreds and thousands of methods and opinions and studies and experts on change. Throw a dart and pick one! They are all equally as effective and amazing because they are all possibilities. Read a bit, feel what feels good and test it. Stick with it and see! Start small, start simple, and make it fun and encouraging. One victory, no matter how small, is fuel exponential of it's face value!!

The point is, however, that it is important that you change these impressions, these pattern opinions you have of events in your life. Change them so you feel better. If you don't know where to start, ask someone close (when you both are in a calm state) if there was one reaction you have that they would change about you. Honor yourself and the other person by taking the answer with new eyes of improvement and decide if that's a change you could benefit from!

Have any ideas where you will start?

-Jake Z